Cry Out To God, It's OK.

I was reading the recent Nov/Dec 2011 issue of Group Magazine this afternoon and a brief article from Ryan Donovan grabbed my attention.  Sharing God's Goodness Through Grief is a brief overview of how he dealt with his daughter's birth and short life of 19 days.  As I read this article it brought back a flood of emotions and memories from when I lost my son Peyton and how I dealt with it through God.  Here are a few tid bits from Ryan's article:

1. Grieve Well - In order to do this we must embrace the pain, don't run from it, don't avoid it. If we do this then we are holding back our tears. We must let tears fall as it means feeling all the pain and allowing God to hold you and sustain you in the middle of the grief.

2. Your Grief Isn't Just For Your Sake - Seasons of intense grief give clear windows to your soul. People who see you grieve get to see into your soul. Hold onto Jesus through your pain and you will find hope he promised. You can show others that are struggling how to find hope also.

3. God Really Is Good - God will sustain you through it all. Each day God gives you the strength you need for the day, He gives you people around you to give you strength.

As I read these words I remembered back to Oct. 22, 1999 when Peyton died and feeling God's loving arms embrace me. Was I leaping with joy at the time? No, I wasn't but I also wasn't blaming God for my pain. I was going through it, enduring it, breathing it all the while God was cradling me in His arms preparing me for the journey the rest of it would hold for me.

Now this article also applied to recent events in my life that I have been grieving for, over and over again.  While it wasn't the loss of a person it was a loss none the less and I had to go through the grieving process just the same.  I have hit my knees to cry to God so many times that I have probably worn holes in my pants. Through my prayers God has sent some amazing and wonderful people to help me and my family through these changing seasons and storms in our lives. I have cried on their shoulders and they have wiped my tears.  They have listened to me yell, rant, and rave.  They have also laughed with me.  I have learned a lot over this time period, even though it's not yet over, and I have even been able to help a few through some intense struggles because of my own.  I have even been able to let go of a few things as hard as that was for me to do at first.

Job 2:10   

¹⁰ He told her, "You're talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?" 

Bottom line is this: Through whatever season you are in (whether good or bad) praise and glorify God. God is here to hold you and carry you through the toughest of times.  You don't have to or need to rely on yourself.  So go ahead, cry out, let the tears flow, feel every ounce of the pain and allow God to sustain you!

Are We There Yet?

Are we there yet? How much longer? Really!? I can't wait that long! I'm bored! I don't wanna wait any more! (insert whiny voice here)  Any of this sound familiar? If you've ever taken a road trip with kids you know these are standard questions considering most kids don't understand how long it really takes to get to your destination.

Lately, I find myself questioning if I am really supposed to continue with ministry. Did I misinterpret God's calling on my life?


Tonight, after one of my self questioning sessions I opened my bible up to a devotional for Isaiah 35:1-10 entitled just that "Are We There Yet?" As I read the scripture and the devotional it hit me that this is what I have been doing to God. WOW! He must be shaking his head at me going, "You silly child have you no patience or faith in me?"


I have become that child again. Asking God, "Are we there yet?" or "How much longer do we have till we get there?" or "Why is it taking so long!?" Not trusting that God knows what he is doing with my life.  I need to begin fully trusting God again. He does know what he is doing with my life. He would not send me down the wrong path for my life.  God has me on a spiritual journey and I need to sit back and let him have control of the wheel and navigate my life again.  

There are a few things in this devotional that jumped out at me.  Many times scripture calls our lives spiritual journeys. 
1.  In Hebrews 12:12-13 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.  Now when I read this I began to think of how weak I have felt spiritually lately. I have not been in the word as I should be, I have slacked on my bible study, my prayer journal has not been used even though I have still been praying (when I use my journal I am much more intentional about talking with God not to God and listening to Him.) I feel this scripture is calling me to strengthen what I have allowed to go weak in me.  

2.  Jeremiah 31:21  "Set up road signs; put up guideposts.  Take note of the highway, the road that you take."  Some stretches of our spiritual roads are straight and smooth while some have potholes of habitual sin, a time of distance from God, or other difficulties that make our road tough to travel


3.  Isaiah 40:3  A voice of one calling: "in the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. To me this is saying to stay the path and continue to make the way for God to work.


In wondering if I was on the right path I ran across this:


"Spiritually speaking, we are on a path that is leading somewhere but how do we know if we are on the highway of holiness in our journey?"  Romans is filled with signposts referred to as the "Roman Road," and the direction they point ends with this promise: Romans 10:9 "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  When it comes to our final destination, none of us is "there yet," but we have God's Word to lead us in the right direction.


"I don't know where the long and winding road is leading you, but I do know this: if you remember passing Calvary, you're on the right road" --Patsy Clairmont