On My Heart - Move

I'm not really sure how to start this post. There are so many thoughts flying around in my head at the moment on the direction I would like this to take. I should probably just let God have control.


Six months ago our close friends moved to Rushville about 3 hours away.  After months of their home here not selling, sitting empty, and beginning to get frustrated they asked us if we would like to move into it and rent from them for as long as God had us here.  Anyone who knows our family knows that we needed the extra room. See, 3-1/2  yrs ago we moved into a small 2 bedroom house.  That may not seem so odd but we are a family of 6, 2 boys & 2 girls who have had to share one bedroom for the last 3-1/2 years.  Now that the 2 oldest are going into 6th grade it really isn't feasible for the kids to all share a room. We loved this little house and really didn't want to move but we needed the extra room.  I am so thankful for the opportunity our friends are giving us!


It has been a running joke that when we moved into the smaller house my dear husband only gave me one days notice before having to move. It was the end of January, very cold and I had nothing packed because I didn't have time to pack. We were moving 9 miles into town and 3 of our friends showed up to help us move. Thank goodness because I am not sure Jaret and I would've survived each other alone in that move!  It was quite interesting to say the least.

Now, this time I had 3 weeks to pack up our house and move a total of 6 blocks away.  Here is the kicker though we weren't telling the kids we were moving!  So I was supposed to pack up a little at a time without setting off the kids radar. I had managed to get some items packed up and put into the basement without the kids knowing and the days/evenings they were gone I would take some boxes and other items over to the house and store them.  I thought I was doing great till the actually moving day came along.  Then I realized I hadn't gotten as much done as I had previously thought especially when I am trying to get a lot of the moving done while my husband was at work.  That way he wouldn't have to worry about anything but the big items.  Needless to say it was yet another stressful move.  By the end of the weekend I was in tears more than once and all I wanted was to be done.


Now that we are all moved into our new house and I am sifting slowly through these boxes I realize that we have a lot of junk we have held onto over the last 3 - 5 years.  I didn't realize we could pack so much "stuff" into a small house with 6 people and 3 dogs but somehow it happened.  There is a lot I am just leaving in boxes and storing in the attic space as it is either seasonal or we just don't need it right now.  

It's interesting moving into your best friends home. I mean think about it these are people we lived life with! We talked to them almost daily, several times a day, they have helped us through some of our toughest times these past few years.  All our children played together, we would just pop in to hang out together. So we already have memories made here with them.  I can still hear all 8 of the kids running up and down the stairs playing. Still see us sitting in the kitchen with our friends discussing ministry, kids, school, life in general. 

As I sit here in the house tonight looking around at what I have already gotten done I can't help but feel as though it's not quite HOME yet.  I have managed to get 2 of the 3 bedrooms, living room, 1 bathroom, kitchen, and utility room unpacked and organized. I still feel like I have so much to accomplish.  Soon I hope to have our pictures on the walls and I am sure it will then feel like our HOME.


God had given us a great blessing not only with this house but with amazing friends. 

Not just friends but FAMILY!!

Back in January this year we helped some very close friends, well family, move from Mattoon, IL about 3 hours away to Rushville, IL to pastor a church.  It was difficult to see them leave. They helped us through some very tough times this past year and half. They were some of the only people who stood beside us when things got rough and tough. No matter what time of day or night they were always there. We spent a great amount of time with this family.

Our families met about 4 years ago through ministry, Jaret and Jason were both youth pastors and worked on a community outreach event together.  Cheri (Jason's wife) and I became friends, sisters, confidants. We spent  many hours talking over coffee at Common Grounds (local coffee shop) about family, our own walk, just life in general. I relied a lot on Cheri and her input in my life. If there was ever a problem or issue I couldn't quite handle I knew I could always call Cheri and she would talk me through it.  With both of us having 4 kids and very busy family lives there was always something to talk about from school to ministry to families to just daily life. There weren't many days where our families didn't talked at some point.  We took care of each others kids and pets.

Recently, Jaret and I had a weekend with absolutely nothing to do (very unusual) so we went to see Avengers (great movie by the way).  Afterwards, wanting something to do we both said about the same time, "Wish J and Cheri were still here. We could hang out with them for a while."  That's the sort of relationship we all had together.  There were many evenings and weekends we would just drop by and hang out.  Just to live life together, to enjoy each others families, bounce around ideas. We made a lot of great memories together and life long friendships.  It's difficult to lose that sort of connection in a town where you feel very alone anymore, now that's not saying we don't have friends here because we do but there aren't many that we trust with EVERYTHING anymore because of life events.  I know that all we have to do is call our friends but life gets busy and time gets away from you.

This sounds sappy and a tad bit crazy but sometimes I will still drive by the house where they used to live. The house is still for sale and every so often I try to go mow the yard as I know it is difficult to take care of from 3 hours away. There were a lot of tears cried there but they were way more fun times and laughter there also.

God has a reason for everything. He places people in your life for a season. I am thankful God brought our families together. Through that connection I found great peace in times of turmoil and that is priceless.

To Cheri: My friend. My Sister. My Confidant. I miss you greatly! I miss our Monday/Friday Morning coffee times at Common Grounds. I miss our talks and hanging out with our kids walking to the park on an early out day from school. I cherish your friendship and the way you made my family a part of your family.  I will always hold you near to my heart!!

Must be doing something right..........

Wow, I can't believe it has been it has been a month and a half since my last post. Life in the Alvis household has been crazy busy since Christmas time. I feel very blessed for the life I have  and what God continues to give me and my family. Our children are all healthy and happy. Jaret is doing much better after fighting for a month with a kidney stone and having it removed, so thankful it wasn't more serious than it was. We are at the height of competition season for Hannah in gymnastics. We are so proud of her for sticking with it even when it gets hard.  I really don't have much to complain about, God is providing for all our needs and we have wonderful and great friends who are helping us along the way.

What has prompted this post was something that was said to me today.  I was talking to Hannah's gymnastic coach today about upcoming competitions and how she was doing since the last meet when she said something to me I really was not expecting. Now anyone who knows my family understands that we do not use the word "step" when we refer to each other in conversations. I always introduce Hannah and Faith as my daughters, just as Jaret refers to Colin and David as his sons. Here is the conversation:

Coach:  Hannah is very lucky to have you in her life.

Me:  Really? Why is that?

Coach:  Well, because you are so involved in her gymnastics, you're always at her competitions, you always are volunteering if anything needs done. There aren't many step-parents who would do as much as you do for her or be as involved. I don't even see many parents that committed anymore.

Me:  Wow, Thank You!  I'm very lucky to be able to be such a big part of her life. We've always taken the stance in our family that there are no steps, we are just one big family.

Now I'm not saying it's always easy, because it certainly isn't but we are blessed with 4 wonderful children who get along great when they are together. They don't fight often and are always watching out for one another.  It is only by the grace of God that our family works as well as it does.  Maybe part of the reason is Jaret and I always stand on a united front, especially when it comes to decisions and disciplining the kids.



I talk to many people who are constantly fighting another or pitting parent and step-parent against each other. I pray that they can find some peace and common ground in their lives.  That they allow God to enter their lives and show them how to make it work.

The conversation with my daughter's gym coach was just what I needed to help me to realize that I really am doing this "parenting thing" right.  There is no manual about how to truly, successfully blend two different families. God is helping me to do this and I am so thankful for His hand in my life and in the lives of my children when they are with us and away from us.

Today is the last day of 2011! I can't believe it is finally here! It has been an extremely long year for my family with many changes and challenges along the way but we made it with our love and family in tact. Only by the grace of God.

I have learned a lot this past year about myself, my family (immediate & extended), my relationship with God, and just people in general.

My Relationship with God:

I wasn't as strong as I originally thought I was in where God was taking me. I'll be honest I doubted at times that God really had it all under control. While I was praying to God, I wasn't conversing with Him, I wasn't being honest with God about where I was and what I really needed from Him. Luckily, God knew what he was doing and He has shown me that he ultimately knows just what I need and what my heart truly desires. After going to Women Of Faith and hearing some amazing women speak I realized I wasn't really listening for what God has for me. I began a prayer journal that has helped me greatly in really connecting with God again.  

I have promised to stay close to God and really work on my relationship with Him in order to know what He fully has in store for me.

Myself:

I don't trust easily and this includes trusting myself. I really don't know who "Jody" really is. If you ask me I can tell you that I am a wife, mother, and friend but beyond that I struggle with who I am. I allow myself to be defined by the previous three titles.  

I have promised myself I will find out who the "True Jody" really is and to begin to trust in myself and my choices.

My Family:

While they will always be my family, some relationships just are not healthy and need to be re-evaluated. That includes making some very tough decisions and lots of prayer. Not everyone truly has your best interest in mind when they make decisions, they are done selfishly when God is not involved. Every choice has a ripple effect. 

I have promised to pray more for my family and where they are with God.

People In General:

While there are some people I have encountered this past year who have been supportive, forgiving, and non-judgmental the majority have been the complete opposite. I have encountered people who would rather listen to what others have said about us and the falsehoods that were being spread than to come to me and find out the truth. It's hard to deal with people like this who are all around you and are nice to your face but the minute your turn your back and are gone they are spreading gossip. Not everyone has your back but that's ok because God will take care of it.

I have promised to be more forgiving of these people and pray for them. I don't want to become one of them.

 Deuteronomy 8:2 (NIV)

² Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 

Looking forward to 2012 coming is exciting for me. I am ready to find out what God has in store for me and my family. To follow Him where He is calling my family and what ministry options He has waiting on the horizon. 

Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)

¹⁸ “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. ¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. 

My prayer for all of you is that you will hear God's calling on your life in 2012. That you will find happiness in Jesus Christ. Listen to what God has to say and follow the path laid out for you.

Trust

Trust. Seems like an easy thing to do, right?  It's easy to tell others to do but not always easy to do ourselves. 

Trusting is not something that comes easy for me.  Maybe because of the amount of hurt I have experienced or having to fix problems in my life on my own for so long or because I was never really shown how to trust. I remember seeing how to doubt and to look for ulterior motives.  I was shown how to look for the worst in those around me. 

Since meeting my husband 4 years ago I have been able to begin to over come my fear of trusting people.  He has been able to show me that it's ok to allow people in and to allow them to help.  Not everyone expects something in return.  There are still very few people I allow into my circle of trust: my husband and about five other people. Not many people at all. Even the closest of friends will let you down but God will always be there.

Joshua 23:8   8 But you are to hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have until now.

I have found One who will never let me down!  This past year has been very trying for my husband and I. A lot of challenges and changes have gone on in our lives. It has been very scary and at times has almost broken us but in all of this I have a new found trust in Jesus Christ and the power He has in our lives.  It would have been so easy to crumble and break, to give way to Satan and just throw in the towel.  But through staying in the word and talking daily with God I have been able to hold fast to God.  I know that everything that has happened will all be for His glory.  My husband and I have grown much stronger together this past year and it is all thanks to trusting and standing firm in God.  

I know that there are great and wonderful adventures ahead for us and our ministry. God fought for me when I came to him, He continues to fight for me even today.

Exodus 14:13-14 

13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Cry Out To God, It's OK.

I was reading the recent Nov/Dec 2011 issue of Group Magazine this afternoon and a brief article from Ryan Donovan grabbed my attention.  Sharing God's Goodness Through Grief is a brief overview of how he dealt with his daughter's birth and short life of 19 days.  As I read this article it brought back a flood of emotions and memories from when I lost my son Peyton and how I dealt with it through God.  Here are a few tid bits from Ryan's article:

1. Grieve Well - In order to do this we must embrace the pain, don't run from it, don't avoid it. If we do this then we are holding back our tears. We must let tears fall as it means feeling all the pain and allowing God to hold you and sustain you in the middle of the grief.

2. Your Grief Isn't Just For Your Sake - Seasons of intense grief give clear windows to your soul. People who see you grieve get to see into your soul. Hold onto Jesus through your pain and you will find hope he promised. You can show others that are struggling how to find hope also.

3. God Really Is Good - God will sustain you through it all. Each day God gives you the strength you need for the day, He gives you people around you to give you strength.

As I read these words I remembered back to Oct. 22, 1999 when Peyton died and feeling God's loving arms embrace me. Was I leaping with joy at the time? No, I wasn't but I also wasn't blaming God for my pain. I was going through it, enduring it, breathing it all the while God was cradling me in His arms preparing me for the journey the rest of it would hold for me.

Now this article also applied to recent events in my life that I have been grieving for, over and over again.  While it wasn't the loss of a person it was a loss none the less and I had to go through the grieving process just the same.  I have hit my knees to cry to God so many times that I have probably worn holes in my pants. Through my prayers God has sent some amazing and wonderful people to help me and my family through these changing seasons and storms in our lives. I have cried on their shoulders and they have wiped my tears.  They have listened to me yell, rant, and rave.  They have also laughed with me.  I have learned a lot over this time period, even though it's not yet over, and I have even been able to help a few through some intense struggles because of my own.  I have even been able to let go of a few things as hard as that was for me to do at first.

Job 2:10   

¹⁰ He told her, "You're talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?" 

Bottom line is this: Through whatever season you are in (whether good or bad) praise and glorify God. God is here to hold you and carry you through the toughest of times.  You don't have to or need to rely on yourself.  So go ahead, cry out, let the tears flow, feel every ounce of the pain and allow God to sustain you!

Are We There Yet?

Are we there yet? How much longer? Really!? I can't wait that long! I'm bored! I don't wanna wait any more! (insert whiny voice here)  Any of this sound familiar? If you've ever taken a road trip with kids you know these are standard questions considering most kids don't understand how long it really takes to get to your destination.

Lately, I find myself questioning if I am really supposed to continue with ministry. Did I misinterpret God's calling on my life?


Tonight, after one of my self questioning sessions I opened my bible up to a devotional for Isaiah 35:1-10 entitled just that "Are We There Yet?" As I read the scripture and the devotional it hit me that this is what I have been doing to God. WOW! He must be shaking his head at me going, "You silly child have you no patience or faith in me?"


I have become that child again. Asking God, "Are we there yet?" or "How much longer do we have till we get there?" or "Why is it taking so long!?" Not trusting that God knows what he is doing with my life.  I need to begin fully trusting God again. He does know what he is doing with my life. He would not send me down the wrong path for my life.  God has me on a spiritual journey and I need to sit back and let him have control of the wheel and navigate my life again.  

There are a few things in this devotional that jumped out at me.  Many times scripture calls our lives spiritual journeys. 
1.  In Hebrews 12:12-13 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.  Now when I read this I began to think of how weak I have felt spiritually lately. I have not been in the word as I should be, I have slacked on my bible study, my prayer journal has not been used even though I have still been praying (when I use my journal I am much more intentional about talking with God not to God and listening to Him.) I feel this scripture is calling me to strengthen what I have allowed to go weak in me.  

2.  Jeremiah 31:21  "Set up road signs; put up guideposts.  Take note of the highway, the road that you take."  Some stretches of our spiritual roads are straight and smooth while some have potholes of habitual sin, a time of distance from God, or other difficulties that make our road tough to travel


3.  Isaiah 40:3  A voice of one calling: "in the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. To me this is saying to stay the path and continue to make the way for God to work.


In wondering if I was on the right path I ran across this:


"Spiritually speaking, we are on a path that is leading somewhere but how do we know if we are on the highway of holiness in our journey?"  Romans is filled with signposts referred to as the "Roman Road," and the direction they point ends with this promise: Romans 10:9 "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  When it comes to our final destination, none of us is "there yet," but we have God's Word to lead us in the right direction.


"I don't know where the long and winding road is leading you, but I do know this: if you remember passing Calvary, you're on the right road" --Patsy Clairmont